MV Mediation is pleased to announce a $2,500 grant from the Martha’s Vineyard Bank Charitable Foundation to support the Youth Mediation Program and Peace Curriculum. The Peace Curriculum, developed by Executive Director Sara Barnes, is a 10-week conflict resolution and positive communication program designed to teach conflict resolution to the students of Martha’s Vineyard. Using integrative and hands-on activities, students learn to apply skills to resolve conflict in their day-to-day lives.
MV Mediation and other community mediation centers offer the service of facilitating meetings for various organizations and groups. As neutral facilitators, our service providers can take charge, make sure there is balanced participation, and help the group to be clear about agenda items, decisions and future action items.
Check in every Wednesday at 4 p.m. to discuss aspects of conflict resolution in our community. Contact info@mvmediation.org to join us by Zoom. Mediators and coaches, look for a survey in your email about mediator check-ins. Any mediator or coach from anywhere can participate
Check-in every Wednesday at 4 p.m. to discuss aspects of conflict resolution in our community. Contact info@mvmediation.org to join us by Zoom. Mediators and coaches, look for a survey that is being sent out next week to your email about mediator check-ins.
Celebrating light is the theme for November and December holidays across the world. The Hindu festival of Divali was celebrated last week with the lighting of candles to wish one another good luck, riches, and generosity. As the waning light of the sun in the Northeast US is heading us toward the shortest day of the year, many light candles and install lighting displays to brighten our lives and the lives of those around us.
Join Our Productive Conversations Course
Enroll in MV Mediation Program's Productive Conversations Course and work with our conversation guides to identify conflicts within your own family:
Learn about Conflict Resolution
Reflect on Family Conflict History
Use Conflict Resolution Tools to Plan as a Family
Nancy Grundman, Program Coordinator
As we all continue to comply with guidance to stay home until the public health crisis has improved, we would like to let you know what is happening with MVMP. We are continuing to provide our Conflict Coaching and Mediation services by conference call or by video conferencing.
We have also been able to continue with many of our courses, trainings and workshops. We recently finished our Conflict Coaching class and are finishing up our Conflict Resolvers Course geared towards those individuals involved in public service. Both have continued through video conferencing. We will be rescheduling our Intro to Mediation class to the Fall. If you are interested in signing up please email us.
Our Youth Mediators continue to meet through video conferencing to continue their training. Technology has given us the ability to continue operating even though everyone is in different places.
We, at MVMP, understand how stressful life is presently,
some are learning new ways of working remotely and a new way to deal with colleagues,
some are dealing with new financial realities,
some are dealing with family issues, and
some have previously unresolved small claims cases.
In solidarity with the Island Community and in order to do our part, MVMP will waive its fees for Conflict Coaching and Mediation Services until the end of June. We are committed to continue to help Islanders. As our tag line says, We Can Work it Out!
If you would like to make a donation to MVMP please go to MVmediation.org and go to Donate.
Sara Barnes, Lead Mediator
We are home and doing our best to get through this time intact. Are you managing under the present circumstances?
In March the Mediation program was chugging along in one of our busiest months. Four courses up and running. About a dozen mediation cases moving forward. Some of us were planning to go off island for our statewide spring conference. We left one or another activity one day saying "see you next week!" And then. We didn't.
The new reality--its an overused phrase already. Who would have predicted that we would all know it means that we are staying far away from each other, learning new technology, checking the mirror to see our masked face. The news is grim and scary. We know people who are sick.
In difficult times, new ideas bubble to the surface. Otherwise, we would never have started writing a daily message about conflict resolution. Have you seen Working From Home the daily conflict resolution message? If not send us an email and we will add you on to the list.
Today two mediators held a perfectly normal mediation over a video conference platform. They were in different places, and managed to use their mediation tools and to help the disputants to come to an interim agreement.
The State conference happened on Monday. Online it took half the time and no one had to drive to see each other. Staring at ourselves in the video conference box, we found out what each other looks like in their living room, in their comfy chair, who has dogs and some interesting decor.
We are not under the mistaken impression that this situation is a good one. We know there is conflict out there, and we wish we could reach out to help more. And the inequities of the present moment seem particularly atrocious. We are thinking about each other and sending good thoughts to buoy spirits as best we can.
We were always in this together, though we might not have thought about it that way until now. Today, all of us at Martha's Vineyard Mediation are doing what we can to be a helpful part of our Island community. Let us know if there is something we can do to help you.
Sara Barnes, Lead Mediator
Over this past year we have been building our Conflict Coaching service. MVMP has our own model called CLAMSHELL. In two hours of 1:1 coaching, participants can review a conflict scene, analyze many aspects of the conflict and develop a personalized plan for the future.
Who benefits from Conflict Coaching? Our clients are diverse. Some are:
a divorcing mom who wants to not shut down when dealing with her ex partner
a public official who wants be more effective when confronted with anger
a mother of the groom to who wants to better handle an upcoming family wedding
a wife who gets angry whenever she and her husband discuss an ongoing topic
a supervisor who finds herself reactive to the actions of a particular employee
These conflicts are the stuff of everyday life. Our clients come to us seeking self improvement. They work with a caring and qualified coach who leads them through the coaching protocol.
The CLAMSHELL letters stand for the steps that happen sequentially as the coach and client move through the conflict coaching process.
Clarify Goals
Listen to conflict story
Ask to understand
Map the internal & external
Survey mutuality
Heartcheck & Reflect
Explore Options & Rehearse
Lock it in
Look for Pearls
We have learned quite a bit over the last year from our Conflict Coaching clients. The close bonds between coaches and clients open up reflective dialogue. Here are a few important findings so far:
1:1 time
Just the process of sitting for two one hour sessions with another person, being listened to and treated with kindness has great value. For many clients, taking a break from busy lives, and focusing inward has powerful benefits.
Pick a conflict scene
Our process asks clients to set a goal and then pick a specific scene to review. The concise nature of picking one important conflict scene helps clients and coaches to focus in a targeted way. In two hours no one can change everything, but focusing closely on a well-defined incident has the benefit of helping the client to zoom in on the underlying forces behind the conflict.
Two sessions
The time between sessions provides time for participants to think things through and develop new perspectives. The second session is often the session where clients have revelations about conflicts in their life.
Mutuality
The beginning of the second session is when the coach leads the client to walk in the other person's shoes and to use the concept of mutuality. This tool is new ground for some people. Our coaches are excellent at helping their clients use this tool as a way to understand their own conflict situation.
If you know someone who you think could benefit from CLAMSHELL conflict coaching, please send them our way. Throughout 2020 we are providing the first two sessions free of charge, thanks to a grant from Newman's Own Foundation.
We can all use a assistance in dealing with conflicts--Conflict Coaching can be that helping hand.
Christina Simmons, Board Member
With the year wrapping up and looking ahead to the future this is a chance to take a step back and reflect on all that we have accomplished. 2019 was a big year for MV Mediation Program. Part of our mission is to use education to encourage constructive dispute resolution. We are proud to have promoted our mission through education and in 2019 expanded our educational programs.
Our educational programs and trainings grow both in the number of trainings and also in the variety of trainings offered. We were able to offer seven programs and courses with most trainings taking place over the course of many weeks. We were also happy to co-sponsor many of these programs with other local organizations such as the Chamber of Commerce, the YMCA and local libraries. Here is a sampling of what we offered:
· Mediators Saturdays—Ongoing get togethers for mediators and apprentices to share best practices and build professional mediation skills.
· Conflict Coaching Training—A 15 hour qualification for new Conflict Coaches with an additional apprenticeship process.
· Introduction to Mediation Course—Offered in both the spring and fall each session was a 40 hour training and apprenticeship for MA qualified mediators.
· Spring and Fall Workplace Conflict Workshops—Seven two-hour workshops to support employees, managers and others in creating a healthy workplace with positive approaches to conflict resolution.
· Fall Conflict Management Cohort Course—20 hour course for Supervisors and Managers to develop proactive approaches to conflicts in the workplace.
· Landlord Tenant Workshop—A two hour workshop for landlords and tenants to resolve conflicts and avoid problems with tenancies.
We are working to develop programming for 2020 that meets the needs of our community. There are already an exciting array of offerings. Look above and register on our website or by calling our office.
Do you have an idea of what kind of educational topics we should be developing? Drop us a line and let us know what you would like to learn more about the in the areas of conflict resolution and alternative dispute resolution.
Christina Simmons, Board Member
As the holiday season kicks into gear and everyone is busy preparing and shopping we are thankful for the continued support of our donors. Consider how supporting local non-profits can be a meaningful gift that supports the community. Here at MV Mediation Program we never want to have to turn someone away because of their finances.
Here is how your generous donations have supported MV Mediation Program:
Workplace Conflict Workshops
· $ 100 pays for each member of a 10-week confidential cohort course for managers and supervisors
· $ 250 pays for a workshop on conflict management
Family and Divorce mediation
· $180 pays two mediators for one session
· $1000 trains one divorce mediator
Conflict Coaching: A new service available through generous support of the Newman’s Foundation. Two one-hour sessions of free 1:1 Conflict Coaching are available for any community member.
· $ 50 pays one conflict coach per session
Consultative and facilitation services
· $ 400 pays for a two hour consultation
Conflict Resolution Courses
· $ 600 pays for one student to be trained as a mediator
· $ 250 pays for one student to be trained as a conflict coach
Youth Mediation
· $225 pays for one youth mediator to be trained
Sara Barnes,
President and Lead Mediator
October 17, 2019 is a worldwide celebration of Conflict Resolution Day. In Massachusetts the legislature has declared the week of October 14-18 Conflict Resolution Week.
Everyday is conflict resolution day at Martha’s Vineyard Mediation Program. Here are a few happenings from last week.
· Working on the Youth Mediation Program—creating partnerships with a youth organization so our mediators have a confidential setting for mediation services.
· Answering inquiries from numerous individuals and organizations who are seeking mediation, facilitation or conflict coaching services.
· Interacting with various divorcing couples and our in-house lawyer who prepares the court packets, in order to finalize divorce documents.
· Workplace conflict session #2 with a cohort of supervisors and managers who are working their way through a published conflict management text.
· Preparation of our quarterly reports to the offices of the Attorney General, District Court, Probate/Family Court and Massachusetts Office of Public Collaboration.
· Discussion with a sister mediation organization in order to consider a partnership on a complicated project.
· Preparation for the twice-yearly Introduction to Mediation course fielding inquiries and preparing materials.
· Drop by from a friend of the organization who was thinking about getting involved in MVMP.
· Meeting of the Conflict Coaches to develop their campaign to promote this free service for Martha’s Vineyard residents.
Sometimes we feel like we are in a tiny boat paddling hard against prevailing winds that push in the opposite direction. Your support and belief in our mission—to encourage and assist all residents of Dukes County to resolve conflicts through mediation and other constructive dispute resolution tools—keeps us afloat.
On October 17 we will celebrate Conflict Resolution Day, joining with thousands across the globe who take one day to lift up the notions that conflict resolution is the way forward toward peace and understanding. Add this one on to your list of holidays. Celebrate with MVMP.
