Day 8: New Attitude, Slow Your Roll
By: Sara Barnes
The bigger the conflict...the slower your roll.
Sometimes your first instinct is to act quickly. Nip it in the bud. Cut to the chase. 1,2,3 and done. And yes, if the situation is a safety or existential issue, then quicker might be better.
But, if the conflict is big and important, slower might be better. There’s a correlation between the bigness of the conflict and the need for slowness.
When the stakes are high, slow. your. roll. Why slow?
During a conflict, quick decisions can lead to escalation and compounding of the problem. With more time, thought, and consideration, there is a better chance that your actions will be effective.
Slowing down can help to:
Quiet your assumptions
Consider the other person's perspective
Listen more carefully and stay open
Go to ‘the balcony’ to look at the situation
Write it out, listing options
Talk to someone trusted for a fresh perspective
Sleep on it, waking with new ideas
Catch yourself before you can't:
Like a rock rolling downhill, the effect of gravity and momentum can be hard to stop -- but this mnemonic might help:
Set a positive and collaborative tone
Listen and acknowledge feelings, emotions, and experiences
Observe and organize from an outside perspective
Work to find a creative, win-‐win solution
And if you forget everything else, this is one thing to remember: When you have a big conflict, slow down & kick it into turtle mode.